Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize