I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
