Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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