I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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