Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
