I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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