I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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