Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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