I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
