she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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