We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize