Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I just googled if crying burns calories
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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