Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
worst night to have a conscience
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
