I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize