I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
