it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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