I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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