thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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