I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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