actually, I'm a sock model
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize