He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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