We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Dicks are not precious.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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