I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
