I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
