I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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