Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I have so many feelings about this burrito
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
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