I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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