I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Randomize
