i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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