I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Randomize
