his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize