Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
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we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
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Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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