frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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