the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
