glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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