i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
