Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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