Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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