She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
