My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
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I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
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Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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