3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
