I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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