Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
