apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
