Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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