who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
