I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
