I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
