Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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