I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Small penises have feelings too.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
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