Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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