she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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