Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
