The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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