Jerry, you need to find god
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
