oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
