i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
