I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
