You really coming over, don't trick.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
