OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
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