Joe is yelling at the trees again.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
