ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
