i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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