I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
