Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
