Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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