i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
