did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
So squirting runs in the family.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
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