it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
