giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
