it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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